Murphy's Law
by forgetspecifics
Summary: Because anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Mutual pining, mutual sexiness. Attempts at real issues, plot, and humour. Slight AU. Chapter 5: Breaking Murphy's Law (Complete)
1. Stupid sexy grin(TM)

**Summary:** Blake wants Yang in her pants, and has a difficult night concerning it.

* * *

Blake was pissed. Though, she wasn't exactly sure why; nor could she bring herself to waste time figuring it out. All she knew is that it was because of Yang. No, that gave the blonde too much credit. It was, undoubtedly, Yang's fault.

Except that didn't help the fact that it was entirely, one hundred percent, not Yang's fault, and that she was being melodramatic – but Blake wasn't about to go back and admit that to her.

As she slammed the door to her apartment, locked it behind her, and threw her keys somewhere in the vicinity of the cat head-shaped bowl that Ruby had made for her, she stalked directly to the kitchen to get an almost criminally large glass of red wine to nurse on the couch in the dark – and cursed her incredibly forward and incredibly attractive friend for ruining the excuse she had for not crossing the line entirely and just sleeping with her.

Because that was the thing; Blake had been ebbing on the edge of caution and keeping Yang at bay, even if they both knew that it was going to happen eventually (or, alternatively, that they simply wanted it to).

The flirting was friendly at first, and Blake had no problem with it. Then it was casual; she flirted back in her own dismissive, dry way that always elicited that stupid, sexy grin from Yang. Then Blake realised that Yang was flirting exclusively with her. Then she realised that was exactly what she wanted.

Maybe she couldn't explain why she was prolonging the inevitable, but maybe she didn't want to. Maybe she just liked the way things were. Maybe she preferred the thrill of the chase, and maybe that was due to being part cat. Maybe.

So when Yang had asked her, admittedly while not entirely sober, why she hadn't had a chance 'at that Bellabooty' yet, Blake simply gave a coy smirk and fired back, "What makes you think you had a chance in the first place?"

Such a challenge was not to be met with disappointment, and the fiery girl accepted it with glee. Blake was considering dropping her hard to get act, perhaps in favour of something that involved being a bit of a tease. After all, this part was half the fun. She thought that tonight, finally, she could just have enough to drink to disguise and excuse her eagerness.

Yang then did something she was not expecting – though she probably should have – unable to resist temptation, the idiot came up with all the wrong words that she obviously thought were good enough to get Blake into her bed.

"Blake, when're you just gonna admit that you want me? You really need to stop...pussyfooting around!"

Not even a second had passed and Blake was pocketing her things and abandoning Yang, her drink, and leaving the bar mumbling something that sounded like 'absolutely braindead goddamn shithead'. The bartender; one of Yang's acquaintances, whistled lowly and quipped, "Your jokes reallyare shit, blondie."

Yang's disappointed expression had quickly turned into a scowl. "Cram it, Junior, and get me another drink before I remodel your club again."

Her threat earned her another Strawberry Sunrise – of course, Junior put the little umbrella in it – which she promptly flicked at his face, but her accuracy was not at its best; to her chagrin it ended up bouncing off his chest. To his chagrin, Yang subsequently sat there for the next hour sulking in between five more stupid drinks with stupid umbrellas, until he half-assedly encouraged her to either pursue Blake or to just give up and go home (read: 'get the hell out of my establishment').

Thus the streets of Vale housed a stumbling Yang Xiao Long. Eventually, she found the building she was looking for – at least that was what Yang hoped it was – that held the woman she was looking for.

Blake was halfway through her wine, she definitely was still pissed (whether that meant angry or drunk was up for debate).

She contemplated calling Yang but couldn't find it in herself to actually regret her reaction to the feline-themed joke made at her expense (no matter how much her lust regretted it). Then again, Yang had no idea that people still bothered her about her exposed cat ears; Yang was all too accepting and loving of them herself. Yang had no idea that it actually still bothered her that much as Blake always shrugged it off in her presence.

She also contemplated digging up her favourite romantic novel (Ninjas of Love wasn't erotica no matter how much Yang argued it to Blake. It was, however, the "filth" that Ruby claimed it to be) to quieten her frustrations, that may or may not have been very sexual in nature. Some small part of her – the part that insisted she had overreacted in the first place, and argued said frustrations could have already been solved if she had just agreed with Yang and asked her to take her home in the first place – also knew it was a possibility that Yang would show up of her own accord anyway, or at least if Blake made a booty call. But, no, she'd never live that down. But, yes, because then she'd be happy that at least they'd have finally done it(and any smugness could have been erased with even more doing it).

Her apartment's front door then started sounding a lot like drunk Yang mumbling. And usually, her front door didn't proclaim that it missed out on a 'sexy piece of ass'. As much as she enjoyed the flattery, as much as Yang was oblivious that she had heard it (of course she heard), Yang was most likely very drunk. It felt almost criminal to want her right now – having sex with a drunk person; having sex with someone while drunk – didn't sound like the best experience. And, oh, did she want the best experience.

As her Faunus eyes spied the door handle jiggle (in a feeble attempt), and then, the mail slot open with force as Yang shoved her hand through it, Blake noted to herself that Yang probably still had the capacity to give her a pleasurable experience and should probably open the door. She had even resorted to flat out thumping into the door with her body; her tall, muscular, curvaceous, downright unfairly attractive body.

Fuck. Blake didn't even have a chance. There was no part of her that didn't want to fuck Yang right now. All four of her ears could hear her own frustrated growling.

Apparently Yang heard too, as the exclamation of 'shit when did Blake get a dog it's going to bite my tit' and heavy and fast footsteps fading into nothing suddenly brought the growling to an abrupt halt. Pleasurable experience aside, Yang was too out of it to remember Blake didn't even like dogs. And so she tried to convince herself to let the idiot go.

At last Blake settled on drinking the rest of that big-ass glass of wine – because something needed to finish tonight – and resigned to think of everything not sexy and blonde for the next half hour. When she got to bed, however, that was a different thing. Maybe she'd have the willpower to just fall asleep, and maybe she'd be lucky enough to have a fulfilling dream experience instead.

With that prospect in mind, the now empty glass was deposited in the kitchen for a quick getaway to the bedroom. Blake had almost shuffled to awaited bliss when she was bestowed a new disturbance. This one sounded like metal clunking and a struggle at her lounge window that looked upon the alley below. It also sounded ridiculous, but, alas her night vision allowed her to see none other than Yang trying to yank the window open from the fire escape.

Of course, the window was locked. Of course, at this point, she wouldn't put it past the determined woman outside to break and enter – even if Blake one hundred percent wanted her to, she didn't want a broken window that badly – which lead to her quickly unlatching the window before any more openings of her apartment could have Yang's hand shoved through it (because that hand needed to be put to better use, to be frank).

This meant that her anticipated dream sex was now being replaced with the possibility of real sex. Blake was still on the fence about that, though. She knew that she had to give Yang the benefit of the doubt and entertain the idea that Yang had not dedicated all this time and effort to just to sleep with her.

On second thought, that sounded exactly like something Yang would do. Still, benefit of the doubt, right?

As the pane of the window was wrenched up, and a stupidly alluring 'nailed it' floated inside, Blake summoned all the self-control left in her desperate body. As a toned leg that went on for days (seriously, it lasted longer than she could ever hope to in bed) slid in, followed by a head of mussed golden hair, she felt her self-control waver.

As Yang's head collided with the partially open frame with a resounding thunk; as the rest of her fell through without any grace (let's face it – she didn't have much grace when sober, anyways); it was funny enough to forgive her for bad choice of words earlier.

Because in truth, she already had. Yang was probably left quite confused, considering past cat puns were met with a much sassier retort that outwitted her. They exchanged banter frequently, not out of malice, but out of friendship. Blake was comfortable with Yang being able to speak to her freely, they understood each other on a level she never would have dreamed of.

Yang viewed her as an equal, she knew that; Blake felt a little guilty that the actions of a few had caused her to give the cold shoulder to somebody she trusted.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy, Blake."

"Hello, Yang. I'm surprised you came back," she began to help her fallen friend up from the floor. "After all, you didn't want your boob to get bitten."

As Yang's warm hands gripped her for balance, she gave a sheepish laugh. "Well, I did. Just…not by a dog," Blake felt her face flush and Yang gave a smile that was entirely unapologetic. "I also realised you would never own a dog halfway up the fire escape."

It was Blake's turn to smile. "So, you started climbing up with the belief there was an angry dog here?"

"Well Blakey, I couldn't just give up without knowing whether or not I hurt you," the look in Yang's eyes was one of concern, which then closed briefly in remorse. "I'm sorry for being an idiot." And then one of her warm hands was touching her face, brushing her hair away from her eyes. Blake then wanted to experience that kind of tenderness, instead of what she was fantasising about before.

Oh, how ironic Yang's apology was.

"No, you're not an idiot, Yang. I ruined the moment. You didn't mean it like that. You never do." Blake grasped the hand that was touching her distractedly before it induced any more thoughts about skipping to the good part. "I'm sorry. I let what other people say get to me and took it out on you. Wrongly."

Yang led her over to the couch in the light of the moon, gesturing her to sit. "Hey, I get it. Buuut we both did dumb things. I'm a little drunk because I was frustrated, and didn't chase after you," as Blake settled down, she pulled Yang closer. Which Yang easily obliged.

Yang shouldn't have to chase after her. Not anymore, at least. "I'm glad you eventually did, Yang," Blake was very glad. "Were you going to give up if I hadn't opened the window?"

Her raised brow was accusing. Yang laughed that time, unashamedly. "I was going to get in here somehow. The window seemed like a better thing to break than your door." Blake laughed along with her, embracing Yang around her neck and steadily leaning back into the soft cushions. This was what she wanted. Yang, in her state was not catching on; Blake tugged her a bit more into following her down.

Yang's arms finally shot down to support her torso; Blake felt Yang's lower half finally join her own. Apparently, she had forgotten entirely what this whole ordeal was about. "What're you doing, Blake? I admit that I was going to break in, and you don't even care," Yang's surprised eyes squinted down at her face questioningly, "Are you okay? I thought I was the one that hit my head!"

As much as Blake was getting impatient, she was happy to play along. This was the flirtatious crap they had been doing all along; this was the teasing she revelled in; this time she would finally find out what Yang Xiao Long was really like.

She deliberately ran her hands into the neck of Yang's clothes. "You did Yang. After you shoved your hand through my mailbox and banged on my door," Blake then gave her the smirk. The one reserved for Yang. "Seems like my apartment got more action from you tonight than I did." Blake raised her knee, adjusted it, until her thigh came into contact with the apex of Yang's legs.

Yang's world came to a standstill as her inebriated brain caught up with what was happening. Blake's knee. On her. A satisfied groan escaped from her throat. "Oh. So you- wait. Did you make a joke?"

"A joke is all you got from that, really?"

"I like jokes, Blake! Especially dirty ones. Especially dirty jokes from you," Yang raised herself free of the pressure on her centre – Blake was quick to throw her a displeased look – but Yang was just as quick to manoeuvre her hands underneath Blake's ass and lay completely on top of the Faunus.

Blake felt her back arch of its own volition, the grip Yang had on her easily taking her mind into a foggy haze because this was actually happening. The slow grind back down onto her thigh, and the way both their shirts had caught up to allow bare slivers of skin to touch was enough.

In an instant Blake had cupped Yang's face and brought it hastily to her own, in an instant they were finally kissing. It was warm and slow; it was hot and fast – which one they preferred was the battle that their tongues were trying to decide.

Blake was unable to really process anything but the mouth on hers and the hands desperately squeezing her behind – they were pulling her up while Yang pushed down just as hard – and the minute movements the woman on top was making served only to excite her more.

She had barely noticed that she was not actually breathing until Yang abandoned the kiss to gulp in air. She had the stupid sexy grin (that should be trademarked, honestly) going again. "Why haven't we done this before?"

Blake had hardly breathed herself as she replied, "This isn't going to happen if you don't keep going."

Yang set back to work, hurriedly burying her face under Blake's chin and laying down some tongue work that she was certain would be better applied something called the clitoris. Although, it was delightful where it was as nonetheless. She may have been rough and boisterous at times, but Yang was undoubtedly good at teasing her by changing pace - with the measured and deliberate kisses and licks she was giving Blake now, she was looking forward to every intimate moment they could share together – though she was awfully quiet.

Taken by her racing thoughts, Blake hadn't realised that Yang had stopped. Though she could feel steady humid breath under her human ear – at least she isn't dead – for once, the brawler was still. Overcome by emotion, maybe?

"Yang?" Blake carefully removed her fingers that had found their way into Yang's blonde hair. Nothing.

Absolutely braindead goddamn shithead – she fell asleep.

"Fucking hell."

That part of her that knew she should have slept with Yang a dozen times already – one of those times being about an hour ago – said 'I told you so'.

* * *

 **A/N:**  
I really feel like this was unfairly cut short - but in its imagining, it was going to cut off before anything sexy even began.  
Never written anything like this before, but I actually really enjoyed it. I busted it out in less than a few hours, which I am happy about. Now I'm just fighting an internal debate whether or not to write the follow up (it'd probably take awhile). I guess you should let me know!

This was also titled 'Fight, fight. Kiss, kiss.' until I realised I kept mentioning the stupid sexy grin. This also was the first Bumbleby story I started to write (two months ago, ew).

Please leave any thoughts, I'd love to read them (any criticism is welcome).


	2. With friends like these

**Summary:** Weiss is savage as fuck and that's the way Blake hates it.

* * *

The first time it could have been _their first time_ , oh, it was very long ago. Yang knew that (Weiss made fun of her for knowing exactly how long, Ruby said it was too much information). Blake knew it too. Didn't stop her from keeping up appearances and keeping tensions palpable – because hell if those three didn't notice her valiant efforts of restraint.

The one thing the four of them were completely unaware of was the betting pool that Nora, Pyrrha, Ren and Jaune had going surrounding the subject. 'Better to let nature take its course', as Ren had phrased it. It's not like they were doing any harm, because really, there was no doubt of it actually happening – the question was more a _when_ rather than an _if_. Besides, it was mostly the girls' idea (they lived vicariously through Blake and Yang).

Whenever they all met up, they didn't need to ask, per se – you wouldn't have to, really. Yang would probably have no problem announcing it to the whole building; in fact, the possibility she'd pay for a plane to fly a banner across the sky that read 'Yang finally got the pussy' was even higher.

It had become routine, really, to grill each individual as often as possible (separately; never at the same time). As long as one was out of earshot – easier said than done when _somebody_ possessed hearing that bordered the range of unfairly good – there was no holding back.

Just last week, the game had gotten a little dangerous. Jaune proclaimed that was his middle name, until Nora helped him recall that he had no business defending himself from _just one_ of the pair, let alone _team bumblebee_ (Pyrrha promised to protect him regardless). The group of eight frequented this particular bar for its relaxed atmosphere, well priced drinks, and comfortable seating areas. It was practically a hole in the wall type of place, with few regulars – Weiss was sure Yang accounted for seventy percent of its earnings alone – and there was always a couple of couches and armchairs waiting for them.

That particular night (like every other night), Blake and Yang were seated next to each other – Blake preferred to be the closest to the exit – when Yang had excused herself to the bathroom. Thus, she had to sidestep _in front_ of the Faunus, whose keen eyes were treated to an up-close and personal view of the blonde's derrière.

As distracting as it was, because it _was_ , Blake could keep a straight (maybe that wasn't the right term for it) face. She had the ability to be stoic and watch Yang's behind simultaneously – she had practiced it – with subtlety.

Obviously, nobody was stupid enough to think she wouldn't be looking after such a show; the conversation lulled. "Blake." Said woman's cat ears gave a response, yet the rest of her was oblivious. Weiss rolled her eyes as she was ignored. She tried again.

" _Blake_." Amber eyes met icy blue. Blake then realised everybody was starting at her with funny looks on their faces.

Despite being the butt of the majority of Yang's 'jokes', the heiress was much more at home teasing Blake in these situations (since Yang was impervious to her jabs). After all, it was indirect payback in her mind. Unfortunately for the black-haired beauty, feigning innocence with Weiss never ended well for her.

"Yes, Weiss? Is something the matter?" Oh, how Weiss almost felt bad for the burn she was about to inflict. It was so 'sick', oh yes, it would have even beat Yang.  
She did her best to act nonchalant. Not that it was that difficult, she _was_ brilliant. "No, I just would have gotten you another drink if I had known you were _that_ thirsty."

Two gasps (Ruby and Pyrrha) and three 'oohs' (Nora, Ren and Jaune). One gobsmacked Blake. Such reward was sweet.

Blake was truly lost for words. There was absolutely no coming back from this one. She was shocked, embarrassed and angry all at the same time, because _damn,_ had Weiss gotten her good.

She heard Weiss coo in fake concern, "You don't look so good. Maybe you should have Yang take you home." A chorus of giggles and snorts followed, and Blake felt herself checking out.

This was it. This was how she was going to die. Her greatest regret was going to be making friends with this evil bunch – right after not having slept with Yang Xiao Long.

But, maybe not all was lost. Ren's stern voice cut through her depraved train of thought. "Yang inbound. ETA five seconds."

Nora whispered, which for Nora, was more akin to hushed screaming. "Abort, abort!"

Blake was saved. She would not endure such torture any longer. Never before had she been more thankful to see Yang returning from a public restroom. Her expression must have been one of extreme discomfort, and everyone else's of indifference, causing Yang to pause briefly and raise an eyebrow in suspicion.

"Why do I get the feeling you were talking about me?"

Ruby chuckled almost convincingly. Almost. "Ah, you always say that, sis!"

Yang shrugged. "Because I always get that feeling."

Weiss scoffed, "Oh, please. I have better things to talk about!"

It was Blake's turn to roll her eyes. Liar, liar, pants on fire. Weiss shot her a smug smile behind Yang's back as she attempted to return to her seat. Nora gave her an entirely mischievous smile. At least they had laid off on her-

"Whoa!" Was all the warning Blake had before Yang was on top of her, accompanied by Nora exclaiming "Oops!".

They could not hold back at the hilarity of seeing Yang trip on Nora's foot, right over the arm of the couch, and onto Blake. Between their laughs, an "I HATE YOU ALL" drifted out from underneath the upturned brawler.

Their shit-stirring was childish and rude, and now Blake was being smothered by Yang's boobs.

 _This_ was it. This was how she was going to die.

At least she got to second base this time.

* * *

 **A/N:**

So I went with the feedback and decided to keep going. Poor Blake can't catch a break. This is kind of fun, in an evil way. It's not very long, but I tried to keep up with the idea of humour. Thanks for reading!


	3. Rainchecks, refunds, and returns

**Summary:** Blake tries to collect. Tries.

* * *

This was the _second_ time in the span of two weeks that Yang was on top of Blake. Prime sexy-time positioning. It was also the _second_ time that it had led to disappointment. She scolded herself for letting herself get worked up by a mere ass-grabbing – to be fair, there was also decent body friction and making out – Blake was honestly a little surprised that that was the thing that had had such an effect on her. For now, though, she was going to count her losses and give up the pursuit of sexiness. It wasn't going to happen right now, judging by the light snore that had begun to emanate from an increasingly heavy Yang.

There was a few paths she could take here, one of them being spitefully shoving off the deadweight and going to bed alone.

The other being a well-practiced routine of carrying her best friend to the comfort of a bed, although Yang was rarely ever to the point where Blake had to bear her weight entirely alone. But, she wasn't weak to the point where she couldn't if need be, so Blake prepared herself for the task.

There was a good chance that she would wake up the sleeping beauty regardless – she was trapped underneath her, after all – except that would probably lead to an embarrassing conversation about the fact that Yang had fallen asleep during what was essentially foreplay.

A conversation Blake wagered they _both_ didn't really want to have for the sake of their dignity.

Gracefully escorting Yang to bed (to _sleep_ ) it is, then.

As she carefully wiggled her way out from underneath Yang – boobs and abs making sad, shameless, useless contact – Blake rolled the slumbering body into her arms, to pick her up in such a romantic, considerate way, it was almost domestic. Like, 'oh, honey, had a long day? I'll just put you to bed and leech your body heat while you sleep'.

Which, by the way, was entirely possible because, one, she could call her 'honey' because their partnership was affectionately labelled _bumblebee_ by literally everybody; two, she had carried this woman enough times in her life to consider it part of her weekly workout; three, Yang was hot as fuck – in every sense of the word – and she found that feature to be very useful as a heat seeking mammal (a human/cat hybrid is a super-mammal, surely).

One thing that Blake hadn't factored into this situation was her own state of drunkenness and fatigue, and this whole carrying a tall, well-endowed, human _tank_ seemed harder than usual. Muscle equals weight, and Yang was packing a hell of a lot of it. She briefly wondered how much a difference it would make if one of Yang's well-built arms were missing – she was so very proud of her 'guns' – but that seemed like a cruel path to weight loss.

It was most important to just get it done quickly and successfully so she could join Yang in dreamland, albeit less satisfied than she wanted to be. Blake summoned her strength yet again, the last of her reserves this time, to enter her bedroom – watch the head on the doorframe – and into her sizeable bed.

Shoes off, jacket off. She'd rather have more to strip when they woke and Yang hopefully wanted to continue what she had started (Blake's intuition pointed to yes). Besides, being a frequent drinker made Yang no stranger to sleeping in her clothes, so she didn't feel it was necessary anyways.

Blake, though, preferred her 'pajamas' – Yang never really did grasp the concept of her yakuta – and being in no rush, she could neatly remove and discard her clothes without having to have the hassle of finding them later; flung somewhere unreachable by a keen blonde.

She didn't even bother changing her underwear to something 'nicer'. Black was her colour anyway, and she certainly didn't give a shit, and Yang wouldn't even have the capacity to notice them when her _very dreams_ were coming true; they knew each other too well for it to matter.

It then crossed her mind to go and close the window she had left open before some other person chanced the fire escape – she didn't want any other _eager_ blonde entering her apartment. Once it was shut and locked, bare feet hastily made their way back to her _boring sexless_ bedroom.

As she slid under the covers, making sure to cover up her bed buddy (because she certainly wasn't her _bang_ buddy – _wait_ , now she was just talking like Yang, _ugh_ -), Blake scooted closer to the best heat source in the whole of Remnant (apart from the sun itself).

A sunny little dragon was a pretty good substitute.

* * *

When Yang awoke, it was definitely daytime. As she gathered her bearings, she realised that she was actually in Blake's apartment – well, in Blake's bed. Nothing unusual there. Now all she had to do was remember why-

"Oh shit!"

Blake was then woken by her _stupid_ bed buddy bolting upright and disturbing her wonderful heated nest of blankets and, well, _stupid bed buddy_.

Letting loose a tired growl, Blake yanked the warm body back down to her own. "Quiet. Warm. Sshh."

As much as Yang was internally relieved Blake hadn't shoved her unconscious body back out the window she'd come in through, she was still one hundred percent sure she'd fucked up any fucking chance of fucking the most important person in her life, _fuck_.

Groaning, she clutched the smaller woman close and showered her in affection, kissing in quick succession anywhere she could get to. "I'm," kiss, "so," kiss, " _sorry_ ," mumbling out more apologies and landing even more kisses until Blake could no longer resist.

The Faunus deftly captured one of Yang's apology pecks with her own lips. "It's okay," she acquiesced, "I'm not opposed to taking rainchecks."

She could see lilac eyes open fully in the dim light, because _as she predicted_ that woman was insatiable, Yang unable to hide the glee in her voice, "Yeah?"

Blake gave the hopeful face across from hers a stern but seductive stare. "To be collected, say, _immediately_?"

As quick as she had ever possibly seen her move, Yang had scrambled on top of Blake hastily to straddle her. There was no hesitation with full body contact anymore – whether she was too excited or didn't care at all to prolong this any longer than it already had been was anybody's guess – Blake was grateful.

The thin fabric wrapped around her did absolutely nothing to mask every curve and dip of the body atop of hers and _just_ _holy fuck_ _hurry up already._

It was just getting good again when her scroll buzzed on her bedside table. As if everybody and everything were more important than attending to the smoking hot-

"You got a message from Ruby," said the only person left in the world that had not interrupted her at this point.

"I _may_ have _forgotten_ to tell her where I am."

This shit was getting old fast. "I'm going to tell her you're here, you're fine, and then, _we are doing this_." A thumbs up from above while Blake swiftly replied to Ruby just as promised- oh look Yang was pulling her shirt off.

And _look_ she did. Blake felt a shiver roll down her spine; her cat ears stiffened, because _wow_ her senses were going into overload when Yang came closer and plucked her scroll away from her weak hands – she faintly smelled like alcohol and Blake's bed, but there was that burnt aroma that is distinctly her – and she had that 'I'm going to say something smooth but it's really not it's just dumb' face.

"Miss Belladonna, your order of _blonde bombshell_ is ready, and I'm confident you will be _fully satisfied_ in ten minutes or less."

She wasn't sure she wanted it to be that hurried, although…

"Ten minutes? You sure about that?"

…there was no harm in enjoying herself.

Yang donned a very cheeky smile, "I'm not opposed to giving refunds," she shrugged, "you can even return me if you're disappointed."

Blake would take the ten minutes; she'd take the damn refund. She'd take anything at this stage.

"Time's ticking, Xiao Long."

Yang was off like a rocket, like the bombshell she had claimed to be. Blake's world had exploded into a rush of every desire she had ever had; she was overwhelmed by basic instinct and was focused on feeling _every. Damn. Thing._

Hands on her waist, on her hips, clutching her face as she was kissed roughly – Yang's lips were a little dry, but she could fix that – Blake gripped the straps of Yang's bra and yanked; giving her enough allowance to take control of Yang's mouth with her own.

Blake easily coaxed open Yang's lips with her tongue, she accepted and welcomed it with a happy little moan. Yang pulled the same trick from last night; Blake could feel more pressure on her chest as Yang again made room to fit her hands underneath.

Except, this was _way_ better. She had no pants on – which was taken full advantage of – Yang cupped her thighs and ran her hands up and under Blake's yakuta on the way to grab her ass. _Way better_.

She couldn't hold back a breathy moan. " _Fuuuuuck_."

Yang laughed, looking as cocky as ever, "That's the idea, Blake." She was adamant the fiend was going to exploit her weakness until she was told to stop (which would never happen).

Blake was breathing heavily now; she could feel some sneaky fingertips slipping under the hem of her panties, that promise of ten minutes was almost beginning to feel like an eternity-

They almost crashed their foreheads together when Blake's _sex-hating_ scroll shrilly rang beside her.

"Are you _fucking kidding me_ ," Blake all but snarled looking at the screen to see who needed to be assassinated for disturbing them.

"WEISS!" She prepared to throw the device out the window – but she realised _she had plans with her for lunch, shit_ – and reeled her arm back in to answer the call, thoughtfully pressing 'answer (audio only)' and trying to breathe normally.

"Hey, Weiss," she said as casually as she could muster since _somebody_ decided to be an ass and start sucking on her neck.

"Blake, I hope you haven't forgotten about our plans?" Blake was instantly apprehensive at the tone of voice she heard from the other side of the line.

"Of course not," her voiced hitched on the 'not' as she was bitten.

A scoff that obviously was disbelieving emanated from the speaker. "Then I suppose the reason you're already half an hour late is not, in fact, because you're too busy canoodling with Yang at this very second, hmm?"

It was already the _afternoon_? Why the fuck hadn't she noticed that when she used her scroll less than two minutes ago?

After all the shit Weiss had pulled and all the things she had said on the topic of her and Yang's (still) _non-existent_ sex life, Blake wasn't going to just _give_ her the satisfaction of being right.

She tried to push the mouth working at her throat away before it completely ruined her façade. "No, what makes you say that? I just got caught up in a book and the time got away from me," now looking bored and unimpressed, Yang sent her an eye-roll that said 'wrap it up'.

"I'm heading out right now." Lies, all lies.

Weiss' tone of voice was arrogant. Undeniably arrogant. "Then the message you just sent Ruby that said, I quote, 'Yang is at my place, she's fine' was a lie?"

Unbelievable, conspiring little-

"Or the fact that I am literally looking at your apartment door and, oh, would you look at that, you're _not leaving right now_! As if you avoiding a video call wasn't my first clue anyway!"

Yes, Blake was going to murder Weiss. "Have I ever told you _that I hate you_."

"I believe you told me that last week," was the reply.

Well, it was true.

"I hate you!" she screeched through the microphone.

Blake's now very unhappy partner rose completely from the bed, crimson eyes blazing in anger.

"I'm gonna go melt that frigid bitch!" Yang exclaimed as she stormed out only wearing socks, pants and a bra.

Having heard the threat Weiss was hasty to hang up, " _Ihavetogonowbye_!"

Completely true to her word, thundering footsteps and shouting echoed throughout the building not even ten seconds after Yang had left. Her ears picked up a very high pitched shriek that was _unmistakably_ Weiss Schnee, "YANG XIAO LONG DON'T YOU DA-" which was cut off by a roar that was _unmistakably_ her raging dragon.

Blake amended her vow to murder Weiss. She'd kill Weiss – if there was anything left of her.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 ***I just picked up a mistake rereading this a number of hours later so sorry to anybody that read this and was like 'how can Blake yank a shirt Yang isn't wearing' well she can when I add things in and don't notice my event sequences are wrong lol.***

Yeah, I dropped a reference to Yang's canon missing arm, because apparently the worst thing in my little world is bumbleby beeing interrupted and nothing bad happened to anybody ever (Pyrrha literally appeared in the story so yeah you probably guessed that). Also snuck in a jab at Sun's obvious crush on Blake because it's SO OBVIOUS _doesn't mean I give a shit maybe if they hadn't focused more on him than Yang in v4_ \- no, must tone down the salt; be strong for mother.

I'm pretty happy with this one. It went on for longer than I had anticipated and the end turned out better than I had initially planned - which I hope you liked. Blake's getting fed up, but, let's face it she shouldn't have answered that call from Weiss 'savage' Schnee.

It's not valentines day for me anymore, but somewhere it probably is, so this is from me to you. May whoever you're seeing or wish you were banging right now be less tortured than our favourite feline faunus.

There's more where this came from -unfortunately- so see you next time!


	4. SOS: Stop our sex

_Note: 25th of April, ANZAC day;_  
 _I acknowledge the ANZAC soldiers; those that fought or died, those still serving - for they do not deserve to suffer for the tragedies of war; no human does. The people of Australia and New Zealand deeply appreciate the sacrifices made. I wish those sacrifices didn't have to be made, but as Ned Kelly once said, "such is life". I truly wish that wasn't the case._  
 _Lest we forget._

 **Summary:** Blake and Yang sit down for some real talk post-Schnee intervention. Real talk may or may not include arguing about proper English and include the debut appearance of rando rude-jerk-face guy.

* * *

To her surprise, Blake heard her partner returning from her Schnee-hunt within ten minutes. At least Yang satisfied her _blood_ -lust; the actual lust had been put on the back burner in favour of some well-deserved revenge.

"Back so soon?" came her question, "I didn't take you as the merciful type."

Yang gave her a ' _what kind of savage do you think I am?_ ' look. Alright, fine. Blake knew Yang was literally the nicest, caring person – only rivalled by Ruby – especially towards Weiss. They were all a _family_. Yang and Weiss just didn't always...get along twenty-four seven.

"In that particular situation," Blake added.

She motioned Yang back to the bed, moving closer as the now smug blonde thumped down perpendicular to the edge. Yang always was going against the norm (compared to herself); part of her charm, something Blake found oddly attractive. Totally had nothing to do with the fact she was half undressed at that moment.

Yang shifted to clasp her hands behind her head. "Well, Blakey, once Weiss agreed to my terms, I let her live."

Now curious, the faunus' ears fluttered as it was realised what exactly that meant. Yang took a bribe – and coming from Weiss, it could be good.

Blake gave a happy hum as she lay her head on Yang's shoulder, "Care to share?"

Yang happily explained, "I told her I wanted an all-expenses paid honeymoon for me and you to somewhere nice and secluded; where we could have plenty of time and no interruptions, to make up for the wonderful moment she just ruined with her insipid lunch plans. Did I mention she would pay for it?"

Of all the things she could have taken from that, Blake was most intrigued about there being a honeymoon. They weren't even _technically_ dating. Even if they had been dancing around each other for years. Blake propped herself up to look at Yang with a questioning eye.

"Are you proposing to me?"

Slight shock washed over Yang's face. "Uh," she muttered, clearing her throat, "no? Just something to keep in mind when I do, I guess." Her expression read as slightly embarrassed; she had forgotten that the specifics of her bargaining included them having to get married.

The poor woman was just trying to have some fun; Blake didn't have the heart to _seriously_ discuss the matter of marriage. For whose sake; she'd rather leave unsaid.

Blake made her tone inherently teasing, "Ignoring that you answered my question with a pretty vague 'no', I'm not sure if I would have said yes anyway," she shrugged as her finger idly traced over Yang's collarbones, "I didn't even know you had 'insipid' in your vocabulary."

"Oh, please," Yang huffed proudly, "I'm well educated, Blake!"

Now that, she thought, was a little bit ironic. "You said 'you and me', though."

Yang didn't see the problem, "So?"

Blake tapped Yang's chest. "You're supposed to say, 'you and I'."

"That's what I said," Yang gestured between them, "you and me."

"No, 'you and me' is not proper English," Blake shook her head. Well educated her fine ass, she thought.

"I'm not following you, Blake," Yang said with almost an insanely obvious amount of naiveté. She loved to argue with Weiss, but she loved to argue _even more_ with her partner. Yang had to keep talking in these types of situations. Pyrrha called it a 'self-destructive' habit, Nora called it a 'fun' habit, she called it a 'fun, if not a little bit obnoxious' habit.

The little shit was doing this on purpose, Blake knew; again, she poked the stubborn dragon, this time pointedly to the words, "You and I!"

They had both returned to lay on their sides as Yang jabbed her finger into Blake's sternum in retaliation. Yang couldn't stop. It just kept coming up like word vomit. " _You and I_ won't be getting married if this is what you're going to say to a proposal."

"But you said you weren't proposing!" Blake exclaimed, her hand flicking the air in exasperation. A shit eating grin was Blake's reward. Or punishment, in this case. The trademark for 'stupid shit eating grin' was surely already filed at this point.

"Well," Yang said noncommittally, "not now I'm not."

This discussion was entirely pointless, if Blake wasn't trying to make a point about proper English. She didn't even know she wanted a proposal until now. Except she didn't. Mostly.

"Shut up. I'll propose to you with correct English, and you can answer with whatever you want in your barbaric vernacular." Blake could tell Yang had no idea what vernacular meant by the brief and confused blink she received.

Quickly, Yang feigned an uninterested manner, "And what if I say no?"

"You wouldn't dare," the Faunus challenged hotly.

Yang took Blake's words seriously, and then some. Like hell she would dare to refuse the one person she was pining for since...she could remember. A long time. It's not like she was aware that she was ass over tits for Blake this whole time. Well, she wouldn't admit that she had that suspicion to anyone, at least.

Casually, Yang relented. "Nah, I wouldn't turn you down. A girl's gotta settle down sometime."

But it was too late, for Blake was already on the train to Sassville; stopping all stations passive-aggressively, "Oh, so you're settling for me?"

Shit. Yang became panicked. "No!"

Employing her acting talents, though they were barely existent, Blake whined melodramatically "Woe is me! I'm heartbroken-"

Oh, no, it was coming up again. Word vomit. Yang interrupted abruptly, "I love you!"

"Yang, I am truly devasta-," Blake's face went such a deep shade of red, Yang thought she was about to explode. Blake jolted to sit upright.

Please, no _actual_ vomit, Yang begged internally. She messed up, okay. She just goddamn shit...goddamn messed up really…goddamn shit bad. Goddamn shit, goddamn!

She sat up to join Blake, quietly adding, "Does it help if I'm completely serious about that?"

Blake couldn't look at Yang. How could she? This was much more disconcerting than she imagined it would be. Even if she kind of already knew they were completely in love with each other; saying it and hearing it were different to thinking about it. This was, although rushed and following on from two failed attempts at having sex, the closest thing Blake had experienced to a serious relationship. And it was a declaration of love – something you had to be _incredibly_ dedicated to be able to say.

"It does help," she slowly admitted, somewhat awkwardly laughing, "who says romance is dead?"

She heard Yang mumble a jumble of words that seemed to sound like, 'they should if that's the way dumb people like me tell girls that they love them'.

As if she wouldn't pick it up with her hearing; Blake asked Yang to repeat herself anyway, "What was that?"

"You don't seem very shocked, I said."

A sigh left Blake's mouth unbidden as she chose to ignore the cover up. "That's because I don't think I _am_. You planning our honeymoon on a whim like it was second nature kinda gave me an," she paused, considering what would the best explanation, "an inkling."

"Ah. You were always the perceptive one, Blakey." As the still nervous woman finally glanced at Yang, the blonde was giving her the strangest look.

Not strange as in she looked odd, but strange as in Blake sensed her love from one simple glimpse. This was too typical. Yang made her flustered, pissed off, have the urge to do things probably unspeakable to her – her best friend – and feel in her heart why she was so prepared to, or have no choice but to do all those things in the first place.

In the space of less than a day.

What a mess you've become, Blake Belladonna, she chided herself. A hot mess.

She gently bumped Yang's shoulder, "Don't sell yourself short, Yang. You're all I'll ever need," Blake gently kissed the now smiling woman's cheek. Because boy, was she grinning like she'd won the lottery.

Blake felt the need to say it. "You look like you've won the lottery."

"If I had known I won the lottery, I wouldn't have made Weiss promise to pay for a honeymoon for you and m-," Yang swiftly corrected herself, "you and I."

An effort such as that to accommodate and learn from the bookworm's English lessons; Blake felt a little victorious for it. She'd had a good few minutes, after all.

She loved Yang. Utterly and completely. "Yang, I," but it was still so difficult to say it, "I, I-" Blake fumbled; trying to spit it out was not working.

"…I am not good at this."

Yang took Blake's quivering hand in her own. "Take your time."

"Yang," yet the three words would not leave her mouth. They were in her head but they wouldn't formulate into speech. Instead, Blake was just uttering nonsensical sounds.

She began to look irritated with herself, "This is unfair. I'm thinking it, I want to say it. Yang I-"

Her failed efforts were silenced as Yang pressed her lips tenderly to Blake's. As if she were trying to take the words right out of her mouth. Maybe that would work. Because she couldn't say it for shit, despite wanting to.

And Blake kissed her back, because maybe, if she tried, Yang would understand what she meant.

Yang pulled away shortly thereafter, but only slightly. It didn't matter to her if Blake didn't say what she had; she blurted it out when it was uncalled for. It could have gone a lot worse, though. Yang – one, universe – approximately one million…alright, it wasn't a good record.

Time for damage control. "I know, Blake."

"I'm sorry- wait, you what?"

Apparently Yang still had some form of surprise in her. Admittedly she was perceptive just like Blake; likely picked up from her in their time together, or she just cared enough to realise that Blake hadn't had the easiest time trusting people – humans in particular – and that distrust had probably set itself in her subconscious so profoundly that it tried to defend her even when she didn't need it to.

"You're forgetting that I know you better than anybody. Besides, I didn't choose an appropriate time to bring this up, and it's up to you if, and when, you want to continue it,"

A tell-tale sign that she had hit the nail on the head was Blake's faunus ears folding in embarrassment, which she tried to hide by snuggling her head into the crook of her _quite perceptive_ partner's neck.

"I wouldn't be against it if you wanted to _show_ me what you meant to say, though."

The blunt statement provoked a muffled scoff and a, "No, thank you," from the still hiding master of stealth.

Blake didn't miss the sound of disappointment that originated in the hollow of the neck she was conveniently next to. It wasn't her fault that she had lost all drive and hope that they could accomplish anything close to what Yang was probably imagining. Goddamn Weiss _had better_ pay for a honeymoon after that stunt.

She lay an apologetic kiss on Yang's throat, making sure it was _not_ insinuating she had instantly changed her mind. "I'm suddenly apprehensive at the idea, if that's hard to believe."

"It's not, I understand, Blake," Yang gave her a brief rub at the base of her feline ears for reassurance, "I guess I'll settle for a late breakfast."

Tearing herself away from any temptation, the dark-haired woman pulled Yang up as she stood. "We'll pretend I didn't just let you pet me, and I'll agree that I'm up for a meal."

"Last chance to eat-out," came the cheeky offer.

"Wha-", Blake's confusion lasted only momentarily, "shut up."

\- ..- .-. .-. ... -.- .-. ... / .-.. .- .-

Somehow they had ended up going out for their 'late breakfast'; one of them had decided it was too much work to make their own food – they'd both argue it was the other – and were on their way out of the small café.

Yang surreptitiously grazed her fingers against Blake's, for if she held her hand she'd undoubtedly just follow her home. "I better head back. Explain to Rubes, in very little detail, where I was and what happened."

"Does Ruby _have_ to know?" Yang could tell that Blake was still very much self-conscious about the situation. As much as she wanted her to be comfortable, it was kind of a moot objective when the whole world by now was aware of their complex relationship.

Not to mention Ruby was her baby sister, and Yang still heavily relied on her for talking about all things-Blake related. Poor kid probably was sick to death of _those_ conversations. "Weiss most likely already complained that I almost sent her to an early grave."

It was at that point Blake realised that she would just have to come to terms with the consequences of them taking this next step into 'dating' territory – the consequences being their circle of friends knowing about it and _still_ teasing them.

For fuck's sake, that was going to be difficult to deal with. "Yang, I'll be honest with you," Blake started as she tugged her partner slash whatever it was she was to the side of the path.

"I can deal with a lot of problematic situations. But not the one where everybody incessantly butts into our personal life – the intimate part – and I die of embarrassment and feel like we're doing something wrong."

Yang gave her the out she wanted, "I'll deal with everyone, okay? I'm fine with that," and a nod to continue. At least that was appreciated and comforting.

"I know that this all has taken too long to happen, and now that we've experienced difficulties so soon, I don't want you to get the idea that I'm going to take it all back." Because she had stopped running away from things, and wasn't about to start again now. Not when they had this opportunity.

Lilac eyes stared in earnest. "What _is_ the idea you want me to get, Blake?"

"I think it's an understatement to say that we both want to just have sex like we've always wanted to, but now I'm just mortified at myself. I've been so set on finally doing it, and it's ended up in disappointment for us both. So, maybe we should slow things down, take our time to do it right? There's nothing I want more than to make it work between us, Yang."

The corners of Yang's mouth quirked ever so slightly. She'd waited this long – by choice – she could wait a little longer. Blake made a good point, anyway.

"If there's anything I could want more than you, it'd be having you for the rest of my life. No matter how long it takes," Yang leaned down, intending to kiss the blushing woman in front of her before she stopped short, "to be clear, that wasn't a proposal. I just love you."

Instantly, Blake was on her, wrapping her in a tight hug, stealing the kiss before Yang could deliver it.

A passer-by was unimpressed, as he disgustedly and loudly screeched on approach, "Get a room, bitches!"

Whether he was rude because he didn't like gay people, or faunus, or both, he scuttled past angrily complaining, "You're cluttering the sidewa-" Blake couldn't stop her foot jutting out to catch the verbally abusive man's, Yang erupting into rambunctious laughter at the sight of the rude-jerk-face's jerk face hitting the concrete.

Between frantic giggles, Yang managed to offer her a high five. "Sorry buddy, guess she didn't see your worthless ass there," said worthless ass was up and taking a step towards them; Yang wasn't going to tolerate such a bigot, and shoved him back with force, "You best keep walking, I'm going to be more pissed off if I have stop kissing my hot as fuck girlfriend to reacquaint your face with the ground again."

Taking in the distance that he was pushed, the man conceded and raised his hands in surrender knowing he was indeed better off leaving, and scurried off in a pathetic display.

Bouncing with adrenaline, and mostly pride, Yang scooped up and twirled Blake around, laughing like a madwoman. "What a chump! I'm seriously holding myself back from you right now, Blake! I just wanna do you right here and now to spite that asshole!"

"As great as _that_ sounds, being arrested for public sex isn't on my to-do list," Blake said stoically – though her smile and blush said something different. Yang then recalled that she'd agreed to slow things down not two minutes ago for some inane reason; this was not going to be easy. She should at least _try_ to make good on her promise to Blake, right? Not drag her into an alley for things that were better done in privacy. Not even if it looked like Blake had considered it for a minute second.

"But," she added a 'heh butts' under her breath, "I think I'll just ask you on a date instead. A real, proper, date! Whaddya say?"

"I say we did everything in the wrong order. Usually sex and marriage comes after asking someone to be your girlfriend and asking them on a date," Blake replied.

"Well if you recall, technically, we didn't do two of those things," the blonde countered.

Blake rolled her eyes. "And technically, I didn't say yes to the remaining two things."

"If we're getting _that_ technical, I didn't even ask you to be my girlfriend Blake."

"You don't have to," she booped Yang right on the nose. "You're stuck with me regardless."

Yang snorted and imitated what her _girlfriend_ had said earlier. "Woe is me!"

The raven-haired beauty turned her in the other direction and smacked her butt lovingly. "Okay, go home, Xiao Long."

Blake watched as the still chuckling woman turned the corner with a spring in her step. "I love you."

* * *

 **A/N:**

Coming off the serious beginning note,

I'm gonna apologise for the delay with this. I went on a short holiday, did some things, forgot about having to write a chapter, delayed some more, wrote 1000 words and wanted it to actually be substantial, then had to do other things, then finally did it because I was frustrated and mad at sports (yes Australian tradition commemorating a tragic war includes having a fucking sports game, because why not).

ALSO if you didn't recognise the pop culture reference/s you're either too young to be reading this, or you haven't seen one of the best movies of all time, either way, what are you doing with your life? AND 10/10 managed to chuck in a reference to my own username because fuck yeah I am that meta 100% fire emoji

The Morse code inspiration came from me knowing Morse code for SOS, smartphones can't even do Morse code pfft LAME 0/10 would not buy. I wanted to make a line break look interesting so that's why there's Morse code in the middle of the story. I do what I fuckin want

By the way, no, I had no intention to turn this into such a fluffy mess with attempt at plot but here we are

love ya *kiss kiss*


	5. Breaking Murphy's Law

**Summary:** Is the cycle broken? Will they do the do? Tune into the...interesting...conclusion of Murphy's Law!

 _ForgetSpecifics Productions Presents:_

 _A TRAINWRECK_

* * *

Yang returned home to her shared apartment with Ruby in record time.

Though it was obvious to the younger sibling that her older sister may have felt slightly embarrassed upon her entrance due to several reasons, including:

1\. Yang was wearing the same clothes as when she went out last night; 2. Ruby herself had messaged Blake via scroll, and knew she was with Blake, and 3. Weiss had relayed – in a manner that was mostly peeved, but still very much mortified – that she had caught the other half of their team in the middle of foreplay – not to mention Blake flat out lying that they were not doing any such thing before that – and been forcefully coerced into a potential fiscal wedding nightmare while simultaneously having her afternoon slash lunch _ruined_ ;

Ruby put on her most nonchalant face.

The best Ruby could _achieve_ though, she knew, was probably between extremely _not_ nonchalant and looking like she needed to pee. Because she was terrible at lying and terrible at letting anything to do with her team slide. Especially when it came to the fact that-

"You're not gonna say anything, Rubes?" Yang asked suspiciously, having seen through her nonchalant-I-gotta-pee face, right before she noticed Ruby inhaling to her maximum lung capacity no doubt preparing to release an incomprehensible spiel. The (still at ages likely not appropriate anymore) red cloaked cookie inhaler received a well-recognised 'don't bother I won't ever understand you' stare.

For a couple of seconds, she looked to be contemplating whether or not she could just say everything that was probably queueing up on the tip of her tongue, so Yang turned to leave her to her own devices.

As soon as she did, Ruby was upon her. Well, up on her. She had jumped on her back and was clinging like a sloth would to a branch. That's what Nora would say, anyway.

Ruby's weight and strength had certainly grown to the point where she didn't want her on her back. Damn that giant scythe and damn their alcoholic uncle for ever letting her have it. It created a sugar-fuelled cute as a button Grimm Reaper that was almost choking her around the neck.

The voice in her ear hadn't matched the appearance of Ruby ever since she first wielded Crescent Rose. "Where are you going?! Tell me everything!" she demanded.

Unluckily, for Ruby, Yang was still stronger. And she'd much rather have a shower _before_ doing as Ruby _demanded_. Prying off her little sister's arms was child's play – she _had_ grown up dealing with this kind of thing – just as peeling the excited ball of energy from her back by the red hood was executed efficiently enough for Yang to be rid of Ruby long enough to dart into the bathroom and lock the door.

She let herself breathe a sigh of pride and relief, noting a loud thump on the floor. She picked up that stupid foot stamp from hanging around with Weiss for so long; it was almost endearing. Almost.

"Yaaaaang!"

\- ..- .-. .-. ... -.- .-. ... / .-.. .- .—

When Yang finally deemed herself ready as she would ever be to talk about the best sex _she had almost ever had_ , with her little sister that was begging to know – ew, _why though_ , she pondered – she exited her bedroom to come face to face with her assailant from earlier that day.

Weiss.

Yang honestly would have preferred that dickbag from the sidewalk incident. Only a little.

The Ice Queen had her _coldest_ stare directed at Yang, and Ruby, well, she had another face that just looked like she was _still_ yet to pee.

Okay, she'd prefer the dickbag _a lot_.

"Sit." Was the only word Weiss decided to grace her with. Not even a hello? Probably still huffed about earlier, Yang supposed.

"Seriously? What is this, an interrogation?" She sat down anyway. _Only_ because she told Blake she'd explain to Ruby what had happened. It was _kind of_ a big deal.

Ruby shook her head manically. "Of course not! We just _really_ wanna know what's going on with you!"

The most unconvincing answer award would always go to Ruby Rose.

Yang could feel her eyes rolling before she had even spoken, because, really, it felt like an interrogation. "Me?"

Icy blue eyes narrowed in annoyance, "Stop it, Yang. Tell us what's happening with you and Blake! I have no time for your conversational banter!"

Yang blew a raspberry out of the corner of her mouth, disappointed, "To be straight with you, I don't really see this as a conversation I want to have with my _sister_."

Ruby completely missed her partner muttering 'there's nothing _straight_ about this situation', flashing a disgusted look at Yang.

"You can spare me the NSFW stuff, yuck! I mean, you and Blake! Weiss said she'd," Ruby confusedly looked at her interrogation partner, "uh-"

"I _graciously offered_ to pay for yours and Blake's honeymoon!" irritated, Weiss finished Ruby's sentence.

Even though that wasn't entirely accurate, Yang was more concerned as to _why_ Ruby was bringing it up. "Ah, so?"

She was starting to feel like she'd _never_ let Ruby and Weiss question anybody for any reason if need be. Before Yang could even get any further in figuring out this weird situation, the apartment was filled with a knock from the door. And then a crazy amount of louder whacks.

Her bullet train of a sister left the couch and Weiss showered in rose petals as she opened the door, revealing team JNPR – Nora still trying to bang on the wood – to her confusion.

"Sorry we took so long, I pressed the wrong button on the elevator by accident," Jaune said sheepishly as he was ushered in by Ruby.

Nora pushed past them both, gleefully shouting, "RWBY AND JNPR UNITE!"

Pyrrha actually addressed Yang as she took a seat next to Weiss, brushing the rose petals away, "Hello again!"

"Sorry about Nora," Ren cringed as the orange-haired maniac leapt over and landed in an armchair. Ruby darted back and squished herself next to Pyrrha.

Yang was beginning to _regret_ sitting down. Everybody was here, because of Weiss no doubt, to talk about her and Blake, _no doubt_. Although, to her credit, Weiss certainly had cornered her. Blake was going to be _relieved_ Yang was about to deal with this without her.

Yang took her time glancing at all her closest friends in her living room. "This really _is_ an interrogation, isn't it?"

Jaune cleared his throat gawkily, obviously taking his role as leader and speaking for the rest of JNPR. "Ruby and Weiss asked us to come over to...discuss what's going on with you and Blake."

So far, 'her and Blake' kept being brought up. Nobody seemed to elaborate on this. Why did everybody need to be in on this discussion? Why were they all…so calm? She had only ever, and in confidence, told Ruby about how much she liked Blake. Sure, she openly flirted with her in front of them all, but that wasn't a reason for them to be suspicious _nor_ be included in this discussion.

"And what _is_ going on with us? Everybody keeps saying it and not actually _telling_ me what they think is happening!"

Slowly, her interrogators all collectively looked at each other, nodding once. What the fuck was going on here?

In unison, they all said, "You're going to ask Blake to marry you!"

What. The. Fuck?

What.

The.

Actually flipping fuck were they talking about?

Yang was almost going to laugh at the absurdity of them saying that, least of all in sync. But then she noticed that they were all…serious.

"Ah, I think there's been a mistake," Yang groaned into her hands. This was so weird.

Weiss looked at her accusatorily, "You told me you wanted me to pay for your honeymoon, did you not?"

"I did! I didn't say that I was marrying her, though," suddenly she realised why they had all assumed. It kinda sounded like they were going to get married. She also suddenly was very happy Blake _wasn't_ part of this trainwreck.

"Well, this is awkward." Ren stated quietly, though that did not retract from its clearness. The most understated statement aware was going to Lie Ren.

"For the love of," Yang stopped herself short of swearing, since poor JNPR was dragged into this unfairly anyways, "let me explain.

Blake and I went out for drinks last night. Short version, I was teasing her and said something dumb, and she got pissed off and left. I stayed, drank a lot, and then went to her apartment to see if she was awake so I could apologise. I was just a bit drunk, and still the short version, I went up the fire escape and in the window. She was awake, I apologised, she was happy. She made a dirty joke and kissed me, but before we could get to the good part, I kinda," embarrassedly laughing, Yang continued, "fell asleep on her. But she put me in bed and when we woke up she wanted me to make up for it. So, we were going for it,"

"Ew." Ruby interrupted.

"Sorry Rubes. Speaking of, Ruby messaged Blake about me since I was supposed to go home, which we soon figured out was because _Weiss_ was waiting for Blake to meet her for lunch and they were conspiratorial and _ruined everything_. Weiss called, and Blake tried to cover up that she forgot, but she was literally at her apartment being a _sneaky little sneak_!" Weiss scoffed like she was offended that she was a freaky spy, Yang glaring at her as she tried finished her story, "and so I went out there to literally fight her because I _really_ wanted to-"

"EW!" Ruby covered her ears.

"Yeah yeah. I only let Weiss _live_ because I got her to promise to pay for a honeymoon for me and Blake so we could make up for the interrupted-"

"Yang!"

"But I never said I was going to actually marry Blake!"

JNPR engaged in a silent conversation, through stares only. Pyrrha felt it was best for her to ask, "Forgive me if I'm intruding, Yang, but why were you so upset that Weiss interrupted you?"

Ren added, "It does seem rather…rash. Even for you."

To say she was amazed that they were questioning her actions would be pretty accurate. Why wouldn't she be angry?

"I had every right to be mad!" she said vehemently. Though it was personal, she'd come this far with her story, they might as well know they'd failed at their attempts at intimacy, "I couldn't even stay awake the first time, and then I couldn't even make it up to her," Yang admitted abashedly.

Everybody, sans Ruby and Weiss – and Jaune – looked stunned.

"What does your _first_ time have anything to do with _this_ time?" Jaune blurted, oblivious.

" _First_ time?" Nora incredulously gasped. "You mean you guys _haven't_ done it yet?"

Dejectedly, Yang sighed, "Unfortunately, no. We haven't."

"REALLY?! Wooooow!" the boisterous hammer-wielding burst into a fit of giggles. To which Yang promptly sent a scathing look, which swiftly ended the mocking, and changed her tone.

Nora chuckled nervously. "This whole time, we thought you had! Next you're going to tell me you're not even _together_ -together!"

"Uhhhh, we aren't?"

Welp, this trainwreck was blowing up in their faces. How had they not known this?

"Oh my GOSH!" It sounded like Nora was dying. For real.

Seriously, how did they not know? Sceptically, Yang turned the questions on JNPR, "I can't believe you guys assumed all that. Why didn't you ever ask me? Or Blake? I _never_ noticed any of you mention us in that way!"

"We never did, that's why!" Jaune laughed like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Nora snorted. "But we _did_ tease Blake about how much she obsessed over you, like, all the time."

Yang's jaw involuntarily opened in offense for her partner. "Is _that_ why she wanted to avoiding talking to you guys about us? Guys, what the fuck?!"

A more important question arose in the forefront of her mind, amidst the absolute chaos.

"Ruby, Weiss, you know we aren't together! Why would you think we're suddenly getting married?"

Ruby absentmindedly touched her fingertips together nervously, not even convinced with her own answer, "We kinda thought you'd both stopped pretending you weren't in love and confessed and wanted to be together forever?"

"Obviously we've all jumped to conclusions here. I'm sorry, Yang," acknowledged Pyrrha. Sweet Pyrrha, she could never stay mad at. Although she was quite sure that the teasing that was mentioned was mostly Nora and Weiss' doing, so probably could forgive Ruby, Jaune and Ren pretty easily.

Yang shrugged, letting her anger go. "Thanks, Pyrr. Although this was frustrating as hell, it's still not really comparing to being zero for two with Blake."

"Not that you'd want my advice, but I think if you're organised enough to figure out a perfect time, you could spare yourselves of any interruptions," Weiss casually offered, heading into the kitchen.

Why should she listen to Weiss? She made this problem into a huge mess. The free honeymoon was just a _start_ on what she'd have to pay back for it. Yang blew another raspberry and shouted back at her, "Make me a drink, you crazy stalker!"

Ren raised a finger in thought, "If I may?" Yang nodded, since he was likely the most wise of them all, "maybe you would be better off _waiting_ for the right moment to present _itself_."

"Like, not think about how badly I want it even after waiting for _years,_ just so the universe will be nice and let me have it?" Yang translated her own interpretation.

Ren smirked his little ninja smirk, nodding.

They all laughed when they heard the unsatisfied cry of Yang Xiao Long.

\- ..- .-. .-. ... -.- .-. ... / .-.. .- .—

It had been weeks since the impromptu trainwreck chaotic interrogation failure, and, even though Yang had diligently followed Ren's suggestion, she and Blake were still at two strikes on the scorecard. Zero. Zilch. Nada.

She thought this would have been easy. Easy peas-y, lemon squeeze-y. It was more like difficult difficult, lemon _difficult_.

While Blake had been _very_ grateful she had avoided being present for it, she wasn't _that_ grateful. Especially when she was told that Nora laughed about it hysterically, and they all laughed at Yang being punished by some otherworldly force that cringed at the mere idea of a sexual relationship between them. It had only made to greaten her concern that they were doing _something_ wrong.

Never having been a woman of much patience, Yang decided she'd have to bring up _some_ sort of discussion about it sooner or later. Tonight, all the gang would be meeting up once again for drinks and hangs – Ruby's lame name of course – and she had gone over to Blake's in the afternoon to just be cutesy and couple-y before it.

And touch her butt.

They were lounging on the couch, Yang staring at reruns of cooking shows while Blake lay on her, reading. Of course she was reading; in that position Yang would never understand how, she shouldn't be comfortable. But neither of them were complaining.

Maybe because Yang was indeed touching Blake's butt (the possibility was there).

Yang turned the television off. If the universe wasn't going to get her laid, she'd do it some other way. "Blake?"

Yellow eyes met purple. "Is it time to get ready?"

"No, I just wanted to tell you something," the blonde effortlessly used her strength to bring Blake level with her. Mostly because dragging the svelte body over her own was just the kind of something she was thinking about.

She was not afraid to disclose this. "Blake," she used her most serious tone, "I've been waiting for the right time for us to try again. If I have to keep waiting for some sort of miraculous sign, I'm gonna go insane."

The Faunus gave a coy smile. "I was wondering when you were going to bring this up," she muttered as her attention was directed back at the novel. Surely a book wasn't more interesting? No. Yang would _not_ be jealous of some paper and ink.

Almost like she was reading her mind, Blake leant over Yang's head to deposit her book in a safer place. But Yang was devious, and trapped the form above hers in place.

"Ah, boobs. Such a blessing," she breathed from the depths of Blake's covered cleavage.

Blake recalled a time when she had been in Yang's cleavage, and flatly warned, "Be careful, you might suffocate in there."

"I'd die almost happy, then," was the retort. Blake felt hands tugging her back to a less face-suffocating position, to which she obliged. Hands then brought her face closer to tempting lips, to which she obliged again. Because over a short amount of time, she'd really come to enjoy kissing them.

"Come on, do you want _me_?" Golden eyebrows waggled suggestively, "or do you want to read a lame book?"

Trying her hardest not to react to the overactive eyebrows, Blake jabbed, " _You're_ lame." She was only avoiding the question to avoid a potential failure. As time had passed since their last attempt, she had only grown more nervous in spite of her sexual frustration.

But it would be completely rude of her to brush Yang off, she knew, so she asked, "Why are you so eager all of a sudden? Why now?" but was shot look of disbelief, like she had grown a third set of ears.

"Well," was Yang's cocky reply, "it's not 'all of a sudden'. I think about it _a lot_." Blake decided to ignore that when she went further. "And why not now? If not now, when? We can just find a good time, like now, and-"

"This is ridiculous. I'm not planning when we're going to have sex," she cut her off, "that's creepy, Yang."

"Creepy? Blake, is the word you're looking for organised?" Yang retorted, more a statement than a question.

"You sound like Weiss," a pause. "You didn't ask Weiss?" That was totally more a question than a statement.

The two were now locked in a face off that consisted of trying to look more offended at the other. Yang was sporting more of a caught-red-handed expression, though, as Blake _knew_ that that was exactly what Weiss would have told her.

Still, obviously the brawler was not going to go down without a fight, and was attempting to salvage her 'well laid plans' (because that was a fucking awesome pun if anybody asked), "Not that I did-"

"Please, no." Was the shut-down.

Yang tried again, "Hypothetically-"

"I said no."

Meeting a hard state from narrowed eyes, she grumpily gave up, feeling more than just lame. "Well, hypothetically, her advice sucked!" Dumping Weiss' idea seemed to have created a more receptive Blake, and she figured she might as well just find out what the other woman wanted to do. "If you don't want it planned, how _do_ you want it?"

"Spontaneous." It sounded like there was no room for argument in the request. Obviously conflicting since demanding spontaneity was way too ironic to bother mentioning.

Yang went the easy route, just going with persistence as her best bet. "How about right now?"

Blake exhaled, knowing she was about to disappoint with her requirements, "But I also want it to feel right," all their failed attempts had left her more than worried. "As if the planets have aligned, and it was meant to be; romantic crap like that." She truly didn't know if she was doing this for their own good or not. It was getting really hard to tell.

She almost thought that her partner had reached her limit on this topic, emerging from a thinking face with _the_ stupidest grin ever. The stupidest stupid grin™.

"I got it!" Yang happily exclaimed, hoisting them both into a sitting position.

Not bothering to clarify on that, too taken in her own genius, Blake eventually had to prompt her. "Got what?" she probed doubtingly. What could Yang have come up with that was _that good_?

"I know how to know if we should do it right now. 'Rock, paper, scissors'!" Hands fluttered as if presenting themselves in a flashy dance.

The feline woman swatted the obnoxious appendages away, trying to convince herself it was a bad idea to turn this into a scuffle for such a dumb plan.

"How the hell is 'rock, paper, scissors' going to help us?" she all but yelled.

Now bouncing up and down, Yang disregarded her frustrations entirely. "Just do it!"

Adopting a deadpan face, Blake started, "I'm starting to think we should just get married and go on an all-expenses paid trip, thank-you Weiss, to somewhere very secluded," regaining her composure. "Actually, maybe, I'll go alone. You can stay here and play 'rock, paper, scissors'."

"Babe, I got this!" Yang confidently assured. She wasn't going to let it go.

"Yang-"

"Blake," hands gripped her shoulders, "throw down."

This didn't even make sense. In any way.

"Rock," Yang baited, fist balled.

If anybody asked, she would say she was coerced into playing. Because no sane person would comply with something so futile.

"Paper," Blake joined, half-heartedly.

"Scissors," they both spoke and chose their weapons in tandem.

Keen eyes assessed the result, and just as was expected, "It's a draw, Yang. _It didn't help_."

"Nope," wild hair shook in disagreement, "the universe has spoken. We both chose scissors!" Yang gleefully cried, crudely jamming her own spread fingers to fit with Blake's, akin to…

Oh.

 _Oh_.

"I can't decide whether to be impressed or hate you," she choked out, overcoming initial…shock, slash disappointment.

The other pair of 'scissors' went to work 'snipping' against her own. "I thought the universe made it clear that you should have very hot, and probably badly executed sex with me."

…tempting.

Arriving at the one, solitary, viable conclusion that Yang had no way of knowing for sure that she'd have gone with scissors, Blake Belladonna let her have the victory. Because it worked, and, it was so very _Yang_. But…

"Only if I get to be on top."

"In your dreams."

"How did you know I-" Blake spluttered, quickly realising that Yang _hadn't_ known and that she'd been tricked _twice in thirty seconds_.

"…dream about it."

She let loose a rumble of exasperation, opting to stop digging her own grave. "Just kiss me."

And that's exactly what she did. Yang's lips and tongue could work in tandem to take her breath away in such a short amount of time, she was starting to believe that the scheming fiend _would_ have had her screaming in less than the ten minutes she had promised.

"I'll do it." The lips spoke.

Dumbfounded, her own let out, "Huh?"

"I'll do it," Yang said earnestly, "you said I would have made you scream in less than ten minutes."

Well, if she had said it out loud without even noticing, then she probably wanted that, right?

"Please," Blake said, voice laced with want.

Yang chuckled, "You realise we have to go out soon, right? I don't want to start something we can't finish. Uh, again, that is."

She ceased her laughter as her now determined, soon-to-be lover grabbed her shirt and took off towards the bedroom, almost struggling to keep up.

Blake showed off her own sexy grin, "Oh, no. We're not leaving until I'm finished with you, Xiao Long," snickering as the other woman tripped over her own feet upon hearing the news.

It was more like a Cheshire cat grin.

\- ..- .-. .-. ... -.- .-. ... / .-.. .- .—

"Sorry we're late, guys," a somewhat flushed and hurried Yang announced, as a casual Blake trailed in behind her at a much more relaxed pace.

As they sat in their usual seats among Ruby, Weiss, and team JNPR, the Ice Queen was visibly not impressed with the apology, "You're an hour late. How on Remnant do you manage that?"

Nora was giggling next to Ren, an almost empty glass of her favourite craft mead in her hands (along with the other empty two on the coffee table), snorted, "You get lost, Yang?"

The blonde barked out a brazen laugh. "Very funny," she said sarcastically.

"Only a Xiao Long," though she said one name, Weiss pointedly looked at another – another who just happened to be the other Xiao Long by blood. Whom stuttered a shocked and offended 'what do you mean?' in her weak defence.

"Yes, Yang got lost," Blake cut in. Nefarious innuendoes filling her mind – like she could help if after what they'd done – gave her the most brilliant opportunity.

This was her moment. Blake finally had won. Everyone had tortured her about them. Made fun of her sexual desperation. Laughed when Yang fell on top of her in this very seat. Laughed when they had found out they hadn't had sex once at all over the years when everyone thought they had, let alone had been interrupted trying to. She was going to make them feel her savagery for it _all_.

They had no idea what was about to befall them.

" _Between my legs_."

Drinks were spat out unceremoniously; with an "I'm sorry!" from Pyrrha, for Jaune, jaws dropped, gasps were had – almost violently.

 _VICTORY_!

Blake was treated to the best thing she had ever seen. Second to Yang's face buried bet-

 _No_! Blake internally stopped herself to instead to voice these brilliant thoughts. This would go down in history as the day she _ruined their lives_.

"That was the _best_ thing I've ever witnessed. Second to Yang's face buried betw-"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Ruby – and even Weiss – squealed loud enough to make _all_ her ears ring, with JNPR all frantically yelling and flailing about like fishes out of water.

She looked at her partner, elated.

"Blake," Yang whispered in her ear, "marry me."

* * *

 **A/N:**

...  
yes I am implying Blake sat on Yang's face

I hope you enjoyed the ride. Super happy to have finished this off. And for the longest chapter of the whole story.  
It was a one chapter joke that spiraled out of control, but I'm kinda glad it did.

I opted to omit the dirty stuff we all love, because this truly isn't a well constructed story and I have something much larger planned that I should begin/put effort into. So maybe keep an eye out for that. I might do progress updates on tumblr if people wanna head over there and follow there (same name). Because boy it's hopefully gonna be a big one!

See ya next time, and, thank you to every single reader and those that have left feedback. 'preciate ya.


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